Archive for the tag “rowan song”

Tarot Journeys: The High Priestess

Recently I have been spending time with the High Priestess card from the Major Arcana of the tarot again. I love the tarot, though have generally leaned towards engaging with it from the perspective of personal development. I use shamanic journeys, path-workings and journaling to work with the archetypes rather than focussing on ‘reading’ in the sense most people think of it.

In August last year I completed a full cycle of giving a day to each of the Major Arcana cards. I carried each of them with me either as a card or a picture on my phone, paying attention to what happened each day and how I responded to it, looking at how this might relate to some of the main themes of the card. I spent time reflecting on how my experiences might help me look more deeply at what lessons that card had for me.

It was an extraordinary 22 days that grew progressively more intensive and challenging as it went on. Each card seemed to become a little more assertive, a little more present, a little more demanding. So much was pouring up from my subconscious that I journalled as if my life depended on it! By the end I was exhausted but felt emotionally picked clean (for the time being!)…utterly spent, but oh so internally charged, so released.

In the course of that cycle, the High Priestess was Day 3 and an interesting day for me. Several things happened that drew me into that energy. During the day I was confronted by somebody’s reaction to a piece I had written which (as a side point) acknowledged the existence of shadow within the Otherworld as it relates to shamanic journeying. I was surprised but respected their position and wished them well. However, it drew my attention to the ideas of light and shadow as necessary parts of the whole that we see in the High Priestess.

The High Priestess card from (Left to Right) The Cosmic Tarot by Norbert Losche, Hanson-Roberts Tarot by Mary Hanson-Roberts and Arthurian Tarot by Catlin & John Matthews illustrated by Miranda Gray

That evening I was facilitating a journeying group and found the High Priestess present once again as I spontaneously abandoned my prepared structure and simply allowed the space to unfold intuitively from moment to moment. Something magical happened as a result of that and I felt things…myself…shift into a much more deeply heart centred space. This was the lasting impression that the High Priestess made on me that day. She showed me what was possible when I surrendered control in that way and listened to, trusted, my inner guidance and instincts. It was an important experience for me.

This year I am working with the tarot again through music and poetry. I had just finished writing a song for the High Priestess when Northern Tamarisk posted a lovely article about her experiences with Persephone and the pomegranate (both are associated with the High Priestess archetype and the pomegranate often appears in the imagery on her card). It was a piece of synchronicity that was not lost on me, especially in the challenges of the coming days as we launched a crowdfunder campaign and I came up against the internal backwash of emotions that went with it. I found myself returning to the lyrics of my song and to the sense of moving between those worlds of light and shadow as part of an integrated whole.

High Priestesslyrics.jpg

 

The vibrant outer shell of the fruit, the pomegranate, splits to reveal hidden, fleshy innards filled with seeds…the secrets and deep knowledge held safely in the internal, silent, dark spaces within. It is this inner space that we must touch and find the courage to enter if we want to truly know ourselves.

“For in shadow you are truly revealed…” I have found those words comforting in recent days. So often it is only when we are challenged that we see our shadow, experience our buttons being pressed as the old wounds resurface. At these times our fears and resistance make themselves known, ask to be released so that we can live more fully. We can suppress it, project it, fear it, embrace it, endure it…but The High priestess I think, invites us to simply see it, to learn to look upon it with the eyes of the owl, our attention focussed beneath the surface to perceive the lesson, the undercurrent, the truth, the shadow within the light and the light within the shadow and to move with it rather than resist. She coaxes us towards balance, peace and self knowledge where we are not afraid to be explorers of our own soul and inner workings…eating the seeds of awareness that awaken us to growth and the possibility of healing.

Voice of the Moor

Last weekend I was at Woodend Mill Studios in Mossley to participate in their Open Studios & Art Fair event. However, I was there to share my music and play some songs in the studio of Jude Gidney Photography rather than display artwork. I hadn’t performed for a while due to a long term health issue that had affected my voice, so there was a certain amount of nervous trepidation! As it turned out it was a gloriously relaxed couple of days with people dropping in and out of the studio, stopping to listen, to chat and enjoy…and to my relief, my voice held out, despite an impending fluey cold!

Part of the reason we were there was to raise awareness of our upcoming crowd-funder campaign for my debut album called Voice of the Moor – a collection of my original songs inspired by the voices of the hills and moors here in the UK Peak District where I have lived for the past 10 years. Many of those songs are very personal, born out of experiences with specific places and locations such as Bleaklow Moor, the Derwent Valley, Mam Tor, Nine Ladies Stone Circle. Others have been inspired by the broader experience of living on this land, being a part of it through the turning of the seasons and through relationship with the plants, trees and wildlife that I share it with.

Filming on Bleaklow Moor for our crowd funder video

This particular collection of songs is very important to me because of my history with this area. I arrived here feeling quite broken having left behind a life that had slowly but surely imploded until I consented to uproot and walk away. I didn’t know where I was going when I left, until I found myself here on the edge of the Dark Peak and knew that I was exactly where I needed to be…

In the course of house hunting I boarded a rickety Northern Rail train that took me out of Manchester towards Hadfield and Glossop. The scenery was much as expected for the first part of the journey…rows of terraces and chimney stacks, factories, urban road layouts, trees that looked greyed and overburdened by exhaust fumes.  As we crossed the motorway things started to feel calmer.  Trees looked greener and more vital.  Suburbia stretched out around me in the form of clean bricked semis and tended gardens.  I wasn’t paying much attention until we reached Broadbottom though, where things seemed to change dramatically…

We pulled into Broadbottom station and suddenly were surrounded by woodland and mature trees draped with ivy.  The intensity of the greenery woke me up.  I wondered what would come next as my journey continued.  Within moments of leaving Broadbottom station, the train emerged from the trees and I gasped as I took in the incredible vista of the hills and moors stretching across my view.  Something inside me rose up in sheer awe at what I was looking at.

I alighted at the next stop and stepped off the train onto a deserted platform. It was a tiny station and the track was lined with banks of bracken and foxgloves. Silver Birch, Ash and Willow let their graceful branches hang in swooping arcs over the undergrowth.  The air smelled of greenery and damp soil. Silence was broken only by the calls of birds and the rustling of leaves. The feeling of peace was almost tangible and I lingered in this sensation for some moments.  As I stood there, something seemed to wrap around me like a warm blanket.  It filled me with a sense that if I opened my heart to the heather moorland and the gritstone hills, to the calls of the corvids and the wild berries, to the bracken and the mist and what I would come to know as the relentless rain, then I would learn to live again.

Path Through The Heather On Bleaklow Moor

I moved into the house I had come to see that day and as I started a life there I looked more closely around me. I saw a land that had been split apart by ancient ice, that endures deep snows and wild winds that can tear trees up by the roots. This land is tough and resilient. It’s a survivor, an adaptor. For all of my fragility at that time, I knew this was true of me too. It was a powerful mirror that reminded me of my own ability to dig deep for inner resources, to endure and recover. I watched as the snow lingered in the high rock crevices till May while the spirit of regeneration worked with such determination to move life around it’s cycle, coaxing out the bees and the buds of flowers and leaves. It taught me to trust that however long this internal winter lasted, however hard and cold and dark…spring must eventually come.

Over the years spring did indeed awaken in me and brought with it a surge of creativity. The otherworldly whispers of the hills, the moors, the rocks, trees, plants and wildlife that had befriended me started to be expressed through song, through clay, through paintings and drawings, through poetry and storytelling. I found them mingling with my own inner voice in conversation…sometimes serious and wise, sometimes smiling and laughing, sometimes silent and simply present. I felt these voices embrace me as a part of their diverse circle of life, giving me a sense of belonging when I felt lost and afraid of what was ahead.

Lyrics to ‘Voice of the Moor’

At some point I had become that bee, allowing myself to be coaxed from the shadows of winter to feed on the nectar. I felt these strong hills supporting me like benevolent giants. They shored up my wounds and encouraged me to unfold, to know myself as a creature of the earth. I found myself opening to the light of spring and allowing it to move me into a fuller expression of myself. This process happened over many years and over time led to the creation of the songs that I am intending to record. For me, many of these songs are really love songs and offerings of gratitude for that journey of healing and transformation that this land has made possible.

This is a video of the title track…Voice of the Moor…set to images of the beautiful landscape that I fell in love with…

We invite you to join us on Facebook as we work on this exciting new project…you can follow our progress from the crowd funder through to the recording and beyond.  I am so happy to finally be able to share these songs with others and to honour the magic and beauty of this awe-inspiring place 🙂

UPDATE: Our crowdfunder is now live!  Come and take a look!

The Unveiling of Spring

However long I follow this spiritual path, it never ceases to amaze me how each season continues to reveal different aspects of itself. Previously unseen lessons and mirrors of reflection present themselves with each turning of the wheel. This year Spring wants to talk to me about becoming visible in the world, an idea I have struggled with for most of my life. As a child making myself visible or noticeable wasn’t a terribly safe course of action.  While I have learned to overcome this to a certain extent in pursuit of my passions, the unsettling sense of vulnerability lingers, raising it’s head whenever I push up against the edges of my comfort zone.

Pursuing a creative education and career has challenged me in so many ways in terms of visibility. Anyone who has been through the art education system will know the ordeal of having not only your finished work but also all the mess that happens between an idea and that finished piece scrutinised, assessed and judged. I have often thought that art education in the western world is a kind of emotional endurance test…it asks you to make yourself vulnerable, to make your inner workings visible and manifest and then grades you. It can feel very validating if you are deemed successful, but soul destroying and shaming if you are found wanting.

tightrope

Having said that, learning to separate ourselves from what we create is a worthwhile exercise. Releasing attachment frees us to look honestly at what we have brought into the world and to learn from it, to accept that the majority of what we create embodies a journey rather than a destination. It is also necessary if we are to survive emotionally as a practising creative of any kind in the world – we cannot avoid criticism if we choose to put our work in front of a wider audience. But I find myself asking what is the cost of learning that detachment in the painful way we so often do? Do we make ourselves less visible? Do we learn to hold back? Become focussed on an end product to please others rather than feeling free to take risks and explore the infinite ways to experience and express the authentic voice within us?

The structures and systems of our society do not tend to help many of us in making that deeper internal connection that open us up to living an authentic life regardless of external opinion.  Insidious messages about every aspect of who we should be and what we should aspire to flow towards us relentlessly from the modern world.  Our media, government and corporations work hard to orientate us towards external criteria as a measure of our worth.  We are not often encouraged to seek out what is meaningful or true for us as individuals and the social penalties of stepping outside of these accepted values can be difficult to deal with. It can take a significant amount of motivation and courage to walk our own path and be truly present in our life.

headshop

When it comes to creativity, many people never recover from the school system. I have lost count of the number of people I have spoken to at various events who have pointed to my work and said “I would love to do something like that but I was never any good at art at school” At some point in their early years someone measured them against a narrow set of criteria for a narrow range of creative outlets, found them lacking and defined them. The result was a belief embedded in a young consciousness that they were ‘not creative’ and did not have permission to pursue those activities. The joy and inner connection that they may have experienced through these activities was not relevant to the grading system.

I myself was labelled as someone who ‘couldn’t draw’. It took many years for me to realise that there are many different ways to draw and make marks and that they are all valid.  It was only as I came to understand that my beliefs about my creativity came from an external voice and did not speak for my heart that I was able to give myself permission to reach for what came from inside.

When I learned that it was okay to express myself in ways that I felt genuinely connected to, that made some part of me visible and tangible, I found I could tap into something that felt altogether different. Though I still sometimes have to remind myself that I am the one who gives myself permission to create, nobody else.

pearl

I guess what I’m getting at here is the way in which, for so many of us, the fear of judgement (whether from others or ourselves) and the desire to avoid the emotions that those judgements provoke in us, can send us scurrying back into our shells, our thick defensive skins, rather than risk being visible, vulnerable, authentic. However we came to take on that fear, however we came to believe that an external voice is more valid than the voice in our heart that longs to speak for itself, for many of us it’s a very real sensation. It can feel overwhelming when we start to break out of our limiting beliefs and thinking. We might even self sabotage in the pursuit of our dreams to give ourselves an excuse to run back to the comfortable shadow of anonymity. But it’s important for our own growth that we keep pressing up against those self imposed boundaries and limitations, asking  ourselves “does this belief that is holding me back really belong to me?”

The thing is…life doesn’t wait for us. Spring is shouting that message loud and clear at the moment as the wheel turns once more. Everything in nature is getting ready to unleash it’s potential, to create itself, to become visible. We too have potential to release, parts of ourselves that long to be unveiled, empowered with self-direction, given life and breath. In many ways we are no different to the seeds, filled at our core with the knowledge of who we are, with everything we need to manifest and express our true nature. The plant kingdom provides us with tremendous examples of entering into the flow of that unfolding. A dandelion honours the blueprint inside itself, it doesn’t question whether it has the right to be a dandelion or whether it should be trying to be less like a dandelion and more like a crocus! We are in the world to be visible, to be present, to grow into the fullness of who we truly are without shame or fear. And like the seeds, those hidden parts of us have been dreaming of themselves through a very long, cold winter. They have been waiting for this moment, for the return of the sun to awaken them and make them fully alive.

A Little Competition!

Visitors to my Facebook page may remember me getting all whoopy about us reaching 300 likes recently.  I made a promise to have a little competition as a thank you, so here it is :).

There are two prizes up for grabs.  The lucky winner will have a choice with the other prize going to the first runner up.

These are the prizes on offer – two hand painted ceramic hanging decorations inspired by ancient sun symbols. You can put them on a tree at Yule, though they look pretty funky hanging around the house at any time of year:

The first prize winner will receive their decoration in this cute felt hand stitched gift bag (these make great little bags for gifts, crystals, jewellery or anything else you can think of):

And what do you have to do to get one of these decorations absolutely free?  Well, I thought I should give you a little challenge :).  So have a look at the picture below and give me your best guess as to how many beads are in the cup (I was quite surprised when I counted them!).

You can enter by leaving your guess as a comment on this blog post  – click on the ‘Leave a Comment’ link at the very bottom of this post.  If you prefer you can email me your entry at beth@rowansong.co.uk  We promise that your email address will not be used or retained for any purpose unrelated to this competition  – we don’t like spam either!

The competition is open to everyone who has liked the Rowan Song Facebook page, no matter where you are in the world, so if you haven’t joined us yet then pop over  and click ‘like’ before sending us your entry.

The competition will close at midnight on 7th October 2012, so get guessing!  The closest answer will win first prize of a chosen decoration with gift bag, with the next closest winning the remaining decoration without bag.  In the event of a tie for either position then an alternative prize may be offered.

The number of beads and the winner will be announced here on the blog shortly after 7th October so be sure to check back and claim your prize if you’re the winner!

If you have any questions then please leave a comment here or email me on beth@rowansong.co.uk

With Love,

Beth xx

(This competition is in no way sponsored, endorsed, administered by or associated with Facebook.  All entries and information are being submitted to Rowan Song and not Facebook.  Rowan Song takes full responsibility for all administration and communication related to this competition)

Post Navigation

%d bloggers like this: